but seriously? I mean i defended you when people made that yelp page and complained about you going all Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds on the HEB, and when people said you looked like an oil slick, I said you looked like a black pearl, but now I hear that you eat eggs and bird chicks. What's up with that, Grackle?
A few weeks ago, I found a broken egg on my front porch. A few days ago, a dead nestling on the sidewalk. I have a brick column on my front porch that every season sees a family of European Starlings nest at its apex. The nests are inset into the column, protected from the wind and rain by the bricks and the roof. When I found the egg, I did some cursory research on avian egg eaters, and decided it must have been that shifty Blue Jay i see around here. I vowed to myself to keep an eye out for Jays. Weeks pass. Eggs hatch. Chicks cheep for food. One morning, about 15 ft from the nest lies the body of a little nestling. I gave him a proper burial, and redoubled my efforts to determine the responsible party. I think you can see where this is going, Grackle. Your name came up multiple times. Look, I don't care what you do in parking lots, and fields. Puff up your chest, do your funky little dance, and squawk like an old modem all you want, but don't be coming up on my porch for any eggnapping, or nestling snatching. If you do, I will throw a cat at you. i'm serious. i have two of them.
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